Post by Hope

What percentage is your cutoff? You know, when you decide someone is going to be too much work to put effort into. Insert random facts that are absolutes……but you can’t really put an absolute on a human, can you? We try to. We want to. We commit to stay faithful to a person at the altar, but give it a good 8-10 years and that person you pledged your life to will be very different from the one you exchanged rings with. All of life behaves this way. Covering this globe, human behavior would display the same type of conflict.

As technology has continued to transform the human existence for good and bad, it has made an indelible mark on mankind in one one irreversible way. What Wal-Mart did to the small business owner, social media has done to the human relationship. We have traded conversation for convenience, creativity for quantity, craftsman skill for quick delivery. And haven’t we done it on a practical level as well? Texting has replaced a handwritten letter, the emoji has replaced an actual expression and your friends can be suggested to you.  Remember playing outside until dark and having to strip down at the door because of all the dirt? Remember having to use your imagination to furnish your tree house and swinging from a rope and a used tire?

A very close friend of mine has shared his experiences with church and reasoned with me why he has left church. Not Jesus, but Jesus’ bride. He’s not alone. I speak with folks regularly who share his position. I used to be counted among them. Those who passionately love the Lord and could exegete scripture better than most who occupy the pulpit, but have determined that people are what’s screwing church up.

I asked this question of me tonight as I was considering my own heart and where it stands on this topic. People are messy. I am messy at times. I hurt people. I’ve been hurt by people. If I had to rate myself on the mess scale, I’d say I fall somewhere around a 30% mess. I’ve been at 100% before. I know my big personality can be overwhelming and a lot to take in in large doses. I can pout when I don’t get my way and I can talk myself out of being brave at times.

How about you? Where are you on the mess scale? Does the road rage in the morning commute bleed into the rest of the day and stamp the entire 24 hour experience? How about your wife’s sideways glance when you made a nasty comment? Or when your kid forgets about one more project due tomorrow? How much of your personality percentage has your anger cost?

As we sit back and take it all in, both in the behavior displayed day in and day out and on online, are we making the call that it’s just not worth it to connect? Then, when we find ourselves standing in the long line at a funeral home, shaken with shock and reality, do we inventory what “it’s” all about. Somehow mortality is a level that brings our priorities into order.

What if we took our percentages and brought them together? What if my 30% could add to your 30% and we worked to create a welcoming environment to help a 10% couple heal? While our 70% worked together we picked up a 20%er and another 10%er? It would mean lots of phone calls, texts and enduring long venting sessions. It would also mean we would be forced to grow in how to establish healthy boundaries and execute constructive conflict in conversations. We pay a lot of money to do that for business, can you imagine if we could take that investment into our relationships outside the firm?

There are so many books on this topic and church leaders meet all the time to table this very tragic reality. I think of the commercial https://youtu.be/zlQAyLv1iP8 where the babies are doing the stuff and are blissfully happy about it. Maybe would could take some queues from the kids that we pack into daycare. If you’ve ever watched your child make a new friend, it’s a remarkable lesson in human behavior. They make it look effortless! Okay so you are a little grumpy until lunch. We’ll play this afternoon when I don’t bug you so bad.

Let me invite you to consider your percentage and invitation to seek out a people to add your lack to. You need them and they need you. You have a lot to offer and maybe, just maybe, you can find a friend to help you work through that un-forgiveness with. She probably needs your help with her shopping addiction.

Enjoy the homework friends!