Notes From The Sideline

Posted by Hope

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It is the last day of work leave for the unexpected hysterectomy that sidelined me. I have very mixed feelings. This time FLEW by! Dave said it would and now, I’m mentally preparing to go back. There are a ton of things I had hoped to accomplish. It’s amazing how distracted we live. But, I have had a great time.

I have learned so much during this period.  I’m also thankful that I’ve discovered areas to focus on improvement within myself in 2015.  A lot can be said for good, honest introspection and the last six weeks have provided plenty of opportunity for that for this gal. There have been so many many many moments that I have hidden in my heart to savor.

Here are some of the biggest recent journey takeaways for me:

  1. Infertility is horrifying.  It is relentless, pervasive, indiscriminate and costly. It damages the home and the heart.  It can bring a couple to their breaking point and can end friendships.  But it can also be the very thing that causes a woman to find her true and God given identity.  I am defined by Jesus Christ alone.
  2. Our lives rarely turn out as we plan them.  That doesn’t diminish the success.  In the creative way our lives are woven, we can end up with a much more beautiful tapestry and a much more beautiful song.
  3. The fear of the unknown usually turns out to be worse than the big thing. When the day arrives, you really are stronger than you realize. And maybe, just maybe, the monster you are afraid of, doesn’t exist.
  4. You learn who your friends are when you are down for the count. The old adage, “To have a friend, you must be a friend” rings very true when doing companionship inventory. The Golden Rule helps out too. Remember this when your friends are down!
  5. A good laugh can pull you through a knothole.  When you’ve cried, pondered, talked and chewed it out….find a way to laugh.
  6. You must be willing and able to make your story/need/surgery/loss public to receive the care and support you need. Had I not revealed the impending surgery and the depth to which my heart would hurt, this time would have passed quietly and who knows how different this recovery process would have been. Regardless of the fear of perceived rejection, there are people who really do care.
  7. You will not have as much down time as you expect.  I still have a long list of projects I thought I would be able to pass my time here at the house checking off. That did not happen. Somehow, I still had a schedule to keep in this time. UGH! Embrace rest.
  8. Pay attention to your body’s signals. Stop when it says stop. There’s a reason you are dizzy, weak or hungry. Lay down when you feel those signals. You will be able to accomplish more than you expect, but don’t over-do it.
    Celebrate the small steps and the good days. You may hurt for a while, but when it doesn’t, celebrate that. Healing is happening.
  9. Do you really need to feel bad? If you’re not sad, don’t look for a reason to be. If you’re feeling fine, enjoy that. You may be walking through a hard time, but if you’re healthy emotionally, count yourself as blessed and carry on with your chin up. There’s no reason to make yourself lament if you’re emotionally well.
  10. Appreciate the sacrifice of those around you that are having to make adjustments to serving you. Notice the little things.
  11. Let people love you. Generosity will show up in unexpected places. Enjoy being loved. Instead of being uncomfortable, suspicious or feeling the obligation to repay….breathe in the gesture and intent and accept the love.
  12. We do not all speak the same language. Everyone responds to life differently. When you encounter someone who seems to belittle, dismiss or even mock your situation, do not harden your heart toward them. Accept that their journey is different from yours and carry on being true to who you are. Heal properly and in a healthy way, free from bitterness.

I feel excitement as I look forward to returning to the routine of my life. I have nuggets in my pocket to face tomorrow with. This has been a defining event in my life and I know I have emerged a changed woman.  Ultimately, it’s up to me to determine how I walk from here.

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