Posted by Hope
I am short. Next to Dave, I am REALLY short. I am loud and many times have been described as “bubbly”. Dave is practical and more mature. I am very spontaneous and really fluid with planning. Dave is calculated with time and better at preparation. I am stuck in the 80’s and Dave knows what Apple is planning at all times. We are different. In many many many ways.
The longer I spend in this family (going on 3 years), the more I find that I am the oddball in this here Laundry estate. I’m okay with that, for the most part. Not only am I okay with it, I like to revel in it from time to time. But there are some days that it can be awfully lonely in this brick ranch. You see, along with the differences between and my bestie, there are pieces of him that magnify my faults and his gifts.
With the ringing in of 2016, I resolved to face the entrance into my 40’s in complete and total health. Mental, emotional, financial, physical and spiritual health. I’m winning big so far in all areas, except physical. That category can cause emotional pain for me which turns into spiritual imbalance. Blah, blah, blah….then it all kinda takes a tumble. See how quickly one area affects the others? So, I’m doing work y’all. Hard work.
Coach D is very physically fit. Which is intimidating if I let it be. He is one of the most disciplined people I know and I greatly respect him for it. He can walk past a box of doughnuts without flinching and says no to ice-cream without a sideways glance. I, however, speak to food and tell it to stop tempting me and then allow the whisper of a cupcake lull my senses to sleep until I somehow find the sugary goodness turn into poison and self-hate. Well, that was until January. After a few months of work, the battle is getting easier, but the results aren’t coming. That’s where this post came about.
This journey of life balance has exposed some jealousy in my heart. I have found myself jealous of Dave on a few occasions and it’s surprised me. It’s dangerous and if left unchecked, could really do some damage to my heart and my precious husband. There have been mornings where he gets up and planted on the floor doing core work and I stare at him through eyes of envy, defeat and jealousy as he stays committed to his health. How could that happen?! But, alas, it’s the absolute truth. I shared this confession with him when I discovered this ugly attitude and through tears sincerely apologized. His response to me was one of tender understanding and encouragement, not of chastisement or judgement. This showed me something very intimate about our marriage. Bigger than physical fitness, the ability to share the most shameful parts of who we are to our covenant partner, fosters intimacy.
The following few days, I worked through this with the Lord. He reminded me of my strengths and the areas that I am spectacularly built. Psalm 139 so perfectly explains how we were knit together intentionally. This has made me laugh because God built me with a weakness of speaking before I think sometimes. He laughs at me too. But I have a tender heart for broken people and an intentional heart for prayer. I have healthy boundaries, have sharp discernment and am a great people read. Not everyone can say that.
So, let’s close with this thought: no matter how much tissue paper I stuff into the toe of Dave’s shoe, my size 6 will never fit just right. And he couldn’t stuff his giant ski of a foot into my tiny pink sequined bedroom slipper without breaking it. Celebrate the gifts that you’ve been given and work on the areas of your own weakness and learn to let others come alongside to make you better, not become competition. Your “walk” will thank you for it.